I only have 3 weeks left here which is crazy.
I feel like I have been here forever and not long at all at the same time. But regardless, I feel ready and more excited than ever to go to Heung Gong. I have learned how to say hello and things like that in like 15 different languages since I have been here because I hear lots of different missionaries speaking.
Also, Cantonese is not that different than Mandarin. A lot of words are, but lots of words are also really similar. I know how to bear my testimony in Mandarin from hearing the Mandarin elders speak in it and being able to pick up some of the words and learn the others from context. But Cantonese is a lot harder.
I was reading my journal a few nights ago and it was weird to read the first few days I was here how my days were. They seem way easier and like I am used to it now. Also, I rarely feel homesick or sad at all. I still pray every Wednesday for the new missionaries coming in. Because I thought I was prepared and that it'd be a breeze. But then it really hit me that I am in this for the next two years. It wasnt until a few days later that I think I was fully not only okay with it, but excited about it. Then after about week 4, I stopped feeling like I wanted to be outside the MTC fence every Friday night when I was going to bed at 10 30. Haha :) it is crazy how different I feel now.
Today we wanted to switch things up a little when we went to the temple. So we decided to do initiatories. As one of the Cantonese Elders said, "I feel like I could be superman after coming out of that." Pretty cool stuff.
well thanks for everything!
Love ya!
Love, Jordan
Monday, August 22, 2011
No More You-Tube! Now it's General Conference Talks...in Cantonese!
I have started listening to General Conference talks in Cantonese because it is fun to try and see what I understand out of them. This one I understand most of. Here is the link to a video of it. https://lds.org/general-conference/watch/2011/04?lang=eng&vid=904425139001&cid=7&clang=yue
8 Weeks Down, 4 To Go!
Leih hou, ligo sinke haih feihseung keihgwai.
This last week has been pretty interesting. Well, as interesting as the MTC gets. I am sure and I hope that my weeks are more eventful when I get to Hong Kong. But I guess I´ll have to wait 4 weeks to find out.
I guess I´ll start off with kind of a depressing, but really not that depressing at all message (if that makes any sense). Most of the letters I got in this past week have been kind of sad. Most of them relate to unfortunate things that have happened or are happening to people, and none of these things really seem fair at all. I remember back in January and February wondering what I had done to deserve my anxiety, and I really did not think it was fair that I was experiencing that. In the end I was able to learn a lot from it and come out a better person, but not all sad stories have happy endings. Or at least not from what we can see.
I thought about that a lot this week. Why are certain people plagued by things like mental illness, not having self worth, and other things like that while others (like me) have been able to get out of those situations. You may say it is faith related or something else, but often things happen that really are just plain not fair.
After I first got to the MTC, one thing I tried figuring out through reading the scriptures and stuff is what happens to those people who have mental illnesses that cloud their judgement and make their lives miserable if they do something drastic. I know we cant judge people because only God has that right and ability. However, it really bothered me because my friend who this happened to was on my mind. I remembered something I had heard about the people involved with 9 11. For some reason, after the planes crashed into the towers, people were jumping out of windows from high up with no chance of survival. Nobody understood why they did this. The people did not think it was sure death for them if they stayed inside the buildings, so people didnt understand why they jumped out of the windows. After 9 11 happened, scientists discovered that the inside of the towers had become incredibly hot. So staying inside of the buildings was incredibly painful. So were these people who jumped out of the towers wrong to do so. (sorry for some reason this keyboard´s question mark doesnt work.) I read 1 Nephi that the Lord will have mercy upon his afflicted. I dont know if the context applies to the same thing I was looking for, but for some reason this scripture gave me comfort and since then I really havent worried about it. God is merciful. That is why he gave us the atonement and gives us so much.
Anyways, like I was saying, there is so much in life that just isnt fair. We can try to think of reasons why these things happen, but we wont always be able to come up with the answer. It is kind of the sad truth of life. But that is not what is important. Whats important is that this life is only a small point on our eternal timeline. God is all powerful. He could stop every unfair thing from happening. But He doesnt. Life doesnt have to be fair, because there is so much more that God is offering us than just this short mortal life.
So when unfair things happen, try not to sweat it. Just keep doing the best you can do, and whether you are rewarded in this life or not, you will be blessed for the good you do here in the life to come.
Sorry if that was a downer at all. It actually makes me really really happy. Because it makes me realize how real the life after this is, and the happiness I can have if I continue to do the right things.
Well moving on past that, we were talking in class this week about Hong Kong again, and some of the things our teacher did there. She told us about giant spiders that are all over. Supposedly their webs are really strong and dont break like normal spider webs. But the worst part is the spiders are HUGE. A kid in our class told about when he was there how a spider was on his friends shoulder so he screamed and ran to his friend and hit it off as hard as he could. He said the only thing he could compare it to is hitting a baseball. It was so big and just solid. Then they talked about the huge bees in the forest and all of the other freakishly big bugs and weird things there.
The new district came in a week ago. There is an elder from Australia, one from Salt Lake, and a sister from Idaho somewhere. They are all pretty nice, but it is kind of obvious they are still kind of in shock. They are all pretty quiet. The one from Salt Lake is going to Toronto Cantonese speaking, but the other two are going to Heung Gong. Right now I am kind of in the awkward limbo between being super excited to get out of here, but also worried because I really dont know as much of the language as I would like to.
Everyone, with school, work, sports, etc... starting up again, dont get too caught up in it all to let it distract you from what is most important, and from just having peaceful moments when you can think and not worry about anything. That doesnt mean all of those things arent important because they are, it is more about taking time from the least important things to do this, or finding time to do it when you dont have to be doing anything else.
Sorry I dont have time to write more responding to the dearelders. Hopefully I get time tonight to reply to all of your letters. But if not, know I love you all and really appreciate all the letters.
Love, Elder Bingham
Ngoi, Bik Jeung Louh
This last week has been pretty interesting. Well, as interesting as the MTC gets. I am sure and I hope that my weeks are more eventful when I get to Hong Kong. But I guess I´ll have to wait 4 weeks to find out.
I guess I´ll start off with kind of a depressing, but really not that depressing at all message (if that makes any sense). Most of the letters I got in this past week have been kind of sad. Most of them relate to unfortunate things that have happened or are happening to people, and none of these things really seem fair at all. I remember back in January and February wondering what I had done to deserve my anxiety, and I really did not think it was fair that I was experiencing that. In the end I was able to learn a lot from it and come out a better person, but not all sad stories have happy endings. Or at least not from what we can see.
I thought about that a lot this week. Why are certain people plagued by things like mental illness, not having self worth, and other things like that while others (like me) have been able to get out of those situations. You may say it is faith related or something else, but often things happen that really are just plain not fair.
After I first got to the MTC, one thing I tried figuring out through reading the scriptures and stuff is what happens to those people who have mental illnesses that cloud their judgement and make their lives miserable if they do something drastic. I know we cant judge people because only God has that right and ability. However, it really bothered me because my friend who this happened to was on my mind. I remembered something I had heard about the people involved with 9 11. For some reason, after the planes crashed into the towers, people were jumping out of windows from high up with no chance of survival. Nobody understood why they did this. The people did not think it was sure death for them if they stayed inside the buildings, so people didnt understand why they jumped out of the windows. After 9 11 happened, scientists discovered that the inside of the towers had become incredibly hot. So staying inside of the buildings was incredibly painful. So were these people who jumped out of the towers wrong to do so. (sorry for some reason this keyboard´s question mark doesnt work.) I read 1 Nephi that the Lord will have mercy upon his afflicted. I dont know if the context applies to the same thing I was looking for, but for some reason this scripture gave me comfort and since then I really havent worried about it. God is merciful. That is why he gave us the atonement and gives us so much.
Anyways, like I was saying, there is so much in life that just isnt fair. We can try to think of reasons why these things happen, but we wont always be able to come up with the answer. It is kind of the sad truth of life. But that is not what is important. Whats important is that this life is only a small point on our eternal timeline. God is all powerful. He could stop every unfair thing from happening. But He doesnt. Life doesnt have to be fair, because there is so much more that God is offering us than just this short mortal life.
So when unfair things happen, try not to sweat it. Just keep doing the best you can do, and whether you are rewarded in this life or not, you will be blessed for the good you do here in the life to come.
Sorry if that was a downer at all. It actually makes me really really happy. Because it makes me realize how real the life after this is, and the happiness I can have if I continue to do the right things.
Well moving on past that, we were talking in class this week about Hong Kong again, and some of the things our teacher did there. She told us about giant spiders that are all over. Supposedly their webs are really strong and dont break like normal spider webs. But the worst part is the spiders are HUGE. A kid in our class told about when he was there how a spider was on his friends shoulder so he screamed and ran to his friend and hit it off as hard as he could. He said the only thing he could compare it to is hitting a baseball. It was so big and just solid. Then they talked about the huge bees in the forest and all of the other freakishly big bugs and weird things there.
The new district came in a week ago. There is an elder from Australia, one from Salt Lake, and a sister from Idaho somewhere. They are all pretty nice, but it is kind of obvious they are still kind of in shock. They are all pretty quiet. The one from Salt Lake is going to Toronto Cantonese speaking, but the other two are going to Heung Gong. Right now I am kind of in the awkward limbo between being super excited to get out of here, but also worried because I really dont know as much of the language as I would like to.
Everyone, with school, work, sports, etc... starting up again, dont get too caught up in it all to let it distract you from what is most important, and from just having peaceful moments when you can think and not worry about anything. That doesnt mean all of those things arent important because they are, it is more about taking time from the least important things to do this, or finding time to do it when you dont have to be doing anything else.
Sorry I dont have time to write more responding to the dearelders. Hopefully I get time tonight to reply to all of your letters. But if not, know I love you all and really appreciate all the letters.
Love, Elder Bingham
Ngoi, Bik Jeung Louh
Elder Bingham on "The Outside World"
Leih hou ngohge gatihng tungmaih pongyauh!
Wow, well this has been quite the week. So a lot of the missionaries in our zone have been getting sick, and I thought I was going to be okay until two Fridays ago I started getting the usual cold symptoms. Then last Thursday I could tell it was only getting worse and it went down into my chest. I was up all night Thursday and Friday night. Then Saturday my branch president said I should probably go to the front desk and call the on call doctor. On top of it all, something about me being sick made my kidney stones hurt a lot. So anyways, I went and called the doctor and told him my symptoms and also that I have kidney stones which have been bothering me. He told me I should go to the instacare at the Utah Valley Hospital and then on Tuesday he wanted to meet with me regarding the kidney stones.
So some really boring guy drove us to the hospital and I saw the doctor. He just prescribed some antibiotics. Then we went over to some store that had a pharmacy in it. It was the weirdest thing ever. It was the first time I was anywhere except the MTC surrounded by missionaries while wearing my nametag. It was kind of a shock. While waiting for my prescription to be filled, there were lots of people talking to us. I realized we arent just normal people anymore and it is impossible to blend in with the crowd while wearing a white shirt, tie, and nametags.
Something else I noticed while in the "outside world" was that it's no wonder I had problems with anxiety. In fact, I am really suprised that everyone else is doesnt have the same anxiety problems I had. Everything out in the world is loud, bright, and obnoxious on purpose. There is so much going on at once. Everyone has their own problems they are thinking about and trying to work out. Then you throw in everything else: Advertisements, TV, Music, and everything in stores designed for the sole purpose of grabbing your attention and distracting you from everything else you are thinking about.
I realized for the first time in my life how chaotic the world really is. I also realized one of the reasons I have done well in the MTC and I have not only had a lower level of anxiety, but I have also been able to figure a lot of things out and think about things more clearly. It is because with everything going on in the world, it is rare to get a quiet moment where you dont have to worry about anything and when a billion things are not trying to grab your attention. There is a whole industry with the sole purpose of figuring out how to get your attention and influence what you think about. (The advertisement industry, and the entertainment industry if you want to include it.)
So my personal advice to you this week is to slow down, not think about all of the many things that are constantly trying to grab your attention, and just have time where you can either think about something you should focus on or just nothing at all.
Anyways, today as dad knows, I went to see the MTC doctor like he requested. I have been having kidney pain on and off ever since I got here. But this morning it was really bad. He wants me to get another CT scan so that they can just track what is going on. So tomorrow I get to go into the outside world once more and then on Wednesday I should find out the results. I will save my handwritten letter this week for when I get the results. But it's not like they're going to find out something we dont already know. All I can do is put my trust in God and keep on learning and working.
It was really, really weird sitting in the office today when the secretary called dad. I could hear his voice on the phone and although I am pretty much just down the street from you all, I feel like I am on a different planet where we have no contact with Earth at all.
When I was writing my farewell talk, I thought a lot about how I could make my topic come to life for people. Although I was very personal and a lot of people were surprised by that, I was kind of hoping I would be able to in a way give people the type of hope I talked about. I am glad to hear that I may have done just that with different people in the ward and some of my friends. Anxiety is worse than any kidney pain or any other type of pain I have ever felt, so my prayers go out to everyone who struggles with it.
Thanks for all the prayers and letters! I will keep you updated on everything. But you may just have to wait until next week to hear from me again because you will all be in NC.
Love, Bik Jeung Louh
Wow, well this has been quite the week. So a lot of the missionaries in our zone have been getting sick, and I thought I was going to be okay until two Fridays ago I started getting the usual cold symptoms. Then last Thursday I could tell it was only getting worse and it went down into my chest. I was up all night Thursday and Friday night. Then Saturday my branch president said I should probably go to the front desk and call the on call doctor. On top of it all, something about me being sick made my kidney stones hurt a lot. So anyways, I went and called the doctor and told him my symptoms and also that I have kidney stones which have been bothering me. He told me I should go to the instacare at the Utah Valley Hospital and then on Tuesday he wanted to meet with me regarding the kidney stones.
So some really boring guy drove us to the hospital and I saw the doctor. He just prescribed some antibiotics. Then we went over to some store that had a pharmacy in it. It was the weirdest thing ever. It was the first time I was anywhere except the MTC surrounded by missionaries while wearing my nametag. It was kind of a shock. While waiting for my prescription to be filled, there were lots of people talking to us. I realized we arent just normal people anymore and it is impossible to blend in with the crowd while wearing a white shirt, tie, and nametags.
Something else I noticed while in the "outside world" was that it's no wonder I had problems with anxiety. In fact, I am really suprised that everyone else is doesnt have the same anxiety problems I had. Everything out in the world is loud, bright, and obnoxious on purpose. There is so much going on at once. Everyone has their own problems they are thinking about and trying to work out. Then you throw in everything else: Advertisements, TV, Music, and everything in stores designed for the sole purpose of grabbing your attention and distracting you from everything else you are thinking about.
I realized for the first time in my life how chaotic the world really is. I also realized one of the reasons I have done well in the MTC and I have not only had a lower level of anxiety, but I have also been able to figure a lot of things out and think about things more clearly. It is because with everything going on in the world, it is rare to get a quiet moment where you dont have to worry about anything and when a billion things are not trying to grab your attention. There is a whole industry with the sole purpose of figuring out how to get your attention and influence what you think about. (The advertisement industry, and the entertainment industry if you want to include it.)
So my personal advice to you this week is to slow down, not think about all of the many things that are constantly trying to grab your attention, and just have time where you can either think about something you should focus on or just nothing at all.
Anyways, today as dad knows, I went to see the MTC doctor like he requested. I have been having kidney pain on and off ever since I got here. But this morning it was really bad. He wants me to get another CT scan so that they can just track what is going on. So tomorrow I get to go into the outside world once more and then on Wednesday I should find out the results. I will save my handwritten letter this week for when I get the results. But it's not like they're going to find out something we dont already know. All I can do is put my trust in God and keep on learning and working.
It was really, really weird sitting in the office today when the secretary called dad. I could hear his voice on the phone and although I am pretty much just down the street from you all, I feel like I am on a different planet where we have no contact with Earth at all.
When I was writing my farewell talk, I thought a lot about how I could make my topic come to life for people. Although I was very personal and a lot of people were surprised by that, I was kind of hoping I would be able to in a way give people the type of hope I talked about. I am glad to hear that I may have done just that with different people in the ward and some of my friends. Anxiety is worse than any kidney pain or any other type of pain I have ever felt, so my prayers go out to everyone who struggles with it.
Thanks for all the prayers and letters! I will keep you updated on everything. But you may just have to wait until next week to hear from me again because you will all be in NC.
Love, Bik Jeung Louh
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Leih Hou Ngohge Gatihng...Whatever THAT means!
Here, quite overdue, is the last letter which we received from Elder Bingham, or as he is now called, Elder Bik, since he has a new Chinese name. He is doing great, as you will see below...
Well week 4 is under way. that means I am 1/4 of the way done with the MTC!
It is great here but I still feel like the day I get in the shuttle going up
to the airport will be amazing.
A lot happened this week. As always, I dont have enough time to write it
all, so I will send you letters with pictures sometime this week.
My Cantonese just keeps getting better and better. I am able to memorize
more vocabulary every day and the grammar is simple. The hardest part of
Cantonese is actually not the tones for me but the fact that in order to
master the language, you pretty much have to learn three languages. There
are Cantonese words, then you have what are called classifiers. They are
basically a whole seperate set of words you have to use instead of the
normal cantonese word in lots of situations. For example, the word for
"that" is "Li-Go". "Go" is just a general classifier for "thing". But if you
were to say "That apple", you would have to say "Li-(classifier for apple)"
followed by the cantonese word for apple.
Before getting here, I heard a lot of people who said my Arabic, Egyptian,
English, and even Spanish would be useful once I get to Hong Kong because of
the amount of people that are from different areas of the world. I was not
expecting to use my languages here at the MTC though. So when I was
"contacted" by Italian elders I was a little suprised. I understood
everything they "taught" me, and they understood all of my responses in
Spanish. Then, we got an elder from Saudi Arabia in our Zone. He speaks
English and is going to an English-speaking mission in the United States,
but I have been able to speak to him all in Arabic (though oddly he speaks
formally using only Modern Standard Arabic, and so I can't use any Egyptian
while talking to him).
I am not the only person who knows multiple languages here though. Elder
Wu's companion (Elder Broderick) is pretty interesting. He is best friends
with an elder in my district. Apparently he went to China for a few months
then decided he wanted to learn Chinese. His best friend says he never saw
him again because he locked himself in his room and all he did was study and
teach himself. He now knows almost fluent Mandarin Chinese and can read
thousands of characters. When he got his mission call to Hong Kong, he
quickly started learning Cantonese. Before he even got to the MTC he pretty
much had the whole language down. So now he has two sided flash cards. One
has the Chinese character of a word and the other... The Japanese word for
it. He has taken it upon himself to also learn Japanese before he even gets
to hong kong. Only his companion and I know though because the rest of his
district already is jealous of the two of them for learning the language
faster than the rest of them. So he does not want to rub it in their face
that he is already on to his next language.
Hopefully my Gwong Dung Wa (cantonese) will be good by the time I leave.
Today we had a contest to who could last the whole day without using any
English at all. One of the teachers will give whoever wins an Incredibles
sticker. So far, I am the only person left. It was pretty easy until I saw
my friend who just got here last week. My companion had to translate. Then I
ran into Dennis at the MTC bookstore and my companion had to translate
again. Then it got really hard when I had to buy stamps. So luckily my
companion came to the rescue again and helped me out. The problem is when I
was asking for eight stamps, He thought I was asking for a pen because eight
and pen are the same word with a different tone. But it all worked out.
So probably the highlight of my week was finding out the meaning of my name.
My name is Bik Mihng Giht (with tones that the computer can't type). The
literal translation is "Emerald Green Light Hero". Or in other words, THE
GREEN LANTERN. Ironic since that is the last movie I saw before I came to
the MTC. I think the mission president must be a comic book fan or something
and got excited because The Green Lantern just came out.
Sunday morning I was in Priesthood Meeting and I don't know exactly what was
being taught, but I remember that for whatever reason, I kept thinking about
how amazing it is that I have the authority to give blessings and perform
other miracles because of the Melchizedek Priesthood. Later that day, I went
to the first floor of our residence with my companion. Elder Levan is a
missionary that was supposed to leave this week, but had an ACL replacement
surgery on one knee and something else done on his other so sometime this
week he is going back home for a couple of months and then resuming his
mission. His companion, Elder Beurs, is ironically going in on Wednesday to
get the same ACL replacement surgery done and he will go home and pause his
mission as well. While we were on the first floor I ran into our Ζone Leader
who said I had come just in time because Elder Beurs had a favor to ask of
me. Saturday I had seen Elder Beurs and told him if he needed anything that
he could just let me know. Apparently when our Zone Leader went to check on
him, Elder Beurs told him he wanted a blessing because he was nervous for
his surgery as well as he was getting pretty sick which made him more
nervous. The part I was not expecting was that he wanted me to give him his
blessing.
I do not remember what I said during the blessing. I just remember it lasted
a lot longer than I thought it would and that the entire time I would start
worrying about what to say and I would pause, let my mind go blank, then
words would just come out of my mouth.
It must have gone well because when I was done, the elders in the room as
well as Elder Beurs were teary eyed or crying and I was just standing there
astonished.
There have been many moments like that where I feel the spirit here so
strong that I feel like falling down because my body just becomes weak and I
dont want to stand anymore. I have always grown up and felt the spirit here
and there, but being a out on a mission and putting all my faith and
everything I possess in God's hands leaves me more vulnerable to experiences
that allow me to feel the spirit daily.
Well anyways, last night me and my companion woke up at one in the morning
and went to the front desk of the MTC to get a bag of ice to refill Elder
Levan's ice machine thing that circulates ice water around his leg.
I have found that serving others not only invites the spirit, but it also
seems like it just makes everything better.
One thing that our teacher talked to us about yesterday that I have always
agreed with was that we do not know what people are going through or why
people do the things they do. He showed a talk Elder Eyring gave to the MTC
a while ago. It talked about a young man who was about to be baptized then
that week he came into what was then Bishop Eyring's office and said that he
had messed up. He was out the night before and had crashed through a
building because he was on some substance against the word of wisdom. While
they were arresting him, he told the cops it was okay because he was going
to become LDS and be baptized so that what he did wouldnt matter. Bishop
Eyring said he could feel the anger and disgust filling him up. But then,
just for a second he saw the boy's face change to the face of a child. He
heard a voice say "Now you have seen him as I see him. He has gone through
more than you can imagine. The abuse and different things this young man has
gone through is beyond your comprehension." Bishop Eyring then started
crying and was filled with love for this boy.
As a missionary, I am going to need to try and feel that love for everyone.
even those who may seem unlovable. I have always been pretty good not
judging others (partly because I have my own faults so who am I to judge
them?) I am grateful for that gift now.
Well I think I have typed about all I can right now. So thanks for all your
letters, I will write back by letter. Thanks for everything!!
Well week 4 is under way. that means I am 1/4 of the way done with the MTC!
It is great here but I still feel like the day I get in the shuttle going up
to the airport will be amazing.
A lot happened this week. As always, I dont have enough time to write it
all, so I will send you letters with pictures sometime this week.
My Cantonese just keeps getting better and better. I am able to memorize
more vocabulary every day and the grammar is simple. The hardest part of
Cantonese is actually not the tones for me but the fact that in order to
master the language, you pretty much have to learn three languages. There
are Cantonese words, then you have what are called classifiers. They are
basically a whole seperate set of words you have to use instead of the
normal cantonese word in lots of situations. For example, the word for
"that" is "Li-Go". "Go" is just a general classifier for "thing". But if you
were to say "That apple", you would have to say "Li-(classifier for apple)"
followed by the cantonese word for apple.
Before getting here, I heard a lot of people who said my Arabic, Egyptian,
English, and even Spanish would be useful once I get to Hong Kong because of
the amount of people that are from different areas of the world. I was not
expecting to use my languages here at the MTC though. So when I was
"contacted" by Italian elders I was a little suprised. I understood
everything they "taught" me, and they understood all of my responses in
Spanish. Then, we got an elder from Saudi Arabia in our Zone. He speaks
English and is going to an English-speaking mission in the United States,
but I have been able to speak to him all in Arabic (though oddly he speaks
formally using only Modern Standard Arabic, and so I can't use any Egyptian
while talking to him).
I am not the only person who knows multiple languages here though. Elder
Wu's companion (Elder Broderick) is pretty interesting. He is best friends
with an elder in my district. Apparently he went to China for a few months
then decided he wanted to learn Chinese. His best friend says he never saw
him again because he locked himself in his room and all he did was study and
teach himself. He now knows almost fluent Mandarin Chinese and can read
thousands of characters. When he got his mission call to Hong Kong, he
quickly started learning Cantonese. Before he even got to the MTC he pretty
much had the whole language down. So now he has two sided flash cards. One
has the Chinese character of a word and the other... The Japanese word for
it. He has taken it upon himself to also learn Japanese before he even gets
to hong kong. Only his companion and I know though because the rest of his
district already is jealous of the two of them for learning the language
faster than the rest of them. So he does not want to rub it in their face
that he is already on to his next language.
Hopefully my Gwong Dung Wa (cantonese) will be good by the time I leave.
Today we had a contest to who could last the whole day without using any
English at all. One of the teachers will give whoever wins an Incredibles
sticker. So far, I am the only person left. It was pretty easy until I saw
my friend who just got here last week. My companion had to translate. Then I
ran into Dennis at the MTC bookstore and my companion had to translate
again. Then it got really hard when I had to buy stamps. So luckily my
companion came to the rescue again and helped me out. The problem is when I
was asking for eight stamps, He thought I was asking for a pen because eight
and pen are the same word with a different tone. But it all worked out.
So probably the highlight of my week was finding out the meaning of my name.
My name is Bik Mihng Giht (with tones that the computer can't type). The
literal translation is "Emerald Green Light Hero". Or in other words, THE
GREEN LANTERN. Ironic since that is the last movie I saw before I came to
the MTC. I think the mission president must be a comic book fan or something
and got excited because The Green Lantern just came out.
Sunday morning I was in Priesthood Meeting and I don't know exactly what was
being taught, but I remember that for whatever reason, I kept thinking about
how amazing it is that I have the authority to give blessings and perform
other miracles because of the Melchizedek Priesthood. Later that day, I went
to the first floor of our residence with my companion. Elder Levan is a
missionary that was supposed to leave this week, but had an ACL replacement
surgery on one knee and something else done on his other so sometime this
week he is going back home for a couple of months and then resuming his
mission. His companion, Elder Beurs, is ironically going in on Wednesday to
get the same ACL replacement surgery done and he will go home and pause his
mission as well. While we were on the first floor I ran into our Ζone Leader
who said I had come just in time because Elder Beurs had a favor to ask of
me. Saturday I had seen Elder Beurs and told him if he needed anything that
he could just let me know. Apparently when our Zone Leader went to check on
him, Elder Beurs told him he wanted a blessing because he was nervous for
his surgery as well as he was getting pretty sick which made him more
nervous. The part I was not expecting was that he wanted me to give him his
blessing.
I do not remember what I said during the blessing. I just remember it lasted
a lot longer than I thought it would and that the entire time I would start
worrying about what to say and I would pause, let my mind go blank, then
words would just come out of my mouth.
It must have gone well because when I was done, the elders in the room as
well as Elder Beurs were teary eyed or crying and I was just standing there
astonished.
There have been many moments like that where I feel the spirit here so
strong that I feel like falling down because my body just becomes weak and I
dont want to stand anymore. I have always grown up and felt the spirit here
and there, but being a out on a mission and putting all my faith and
everything I possess in God's hands leaves me more vulnerable to experiences
that allow me to feel the spirit daily.
Well anyways, last night me and my companion woke up at one in the morning
and went to the front desk of the MTC to get a bag of ice to refill Elder
Levan's ice machine thing that circulates ice water around his leg.
I have found that serving others not only invites the spirit, but it also
seems like it just makes everything better.
One thing that our teacher talked to us about yesterday that I have always
agreed with was that we do not know what people are going through or why
people do the things they do. He showed a talk Elder Eyring gave to the MTC
a while ago. It talked about a young man who was about to be baptized then
that week he came into what was then Bishop Eyring's office and said that he
had messed up. He was out the night before and had crashed through a
building because he was on some substance against the word of wisdom. While
they were arresting him, he told the cops it was okay because he was going
to become LDS and be baptized so that what he did wouldnt matter. Bishop
Eyring said he could feel the anger and disgust filling him up. But then,
just for a second he saw the boy's face change to the face of a child. He
heard a voice say "Now you have seen him as I see him. He has gone through
more than you can imagine. The abuse and different things this young man has
gone through is beyond your comprehension." Bishop Eyring then started
crying and was filled with love for this boy.
As a missionary, I am going to need to try and feel that love for everyone.
even those who may seem unlovable. I have always been pretty good not
judging others (partly because I have my own faults so who am I to judge
them?) I am grateful for that gift now.
Well I think I have typed about all I can right now. So thanks for all your
letters, I will write back by letter. Thanks for everything!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
And...he's OFF!!!
Hello, to any and all who may read this blog about Elder Jordan Bingham. At 12:30 this afternoon, June 22nd, we dropped Jordan off at the MTC. He was so excited, and brave, and ready to start his mission. It was so fun and made us happy to see all the missionaries who are already there lined up to welcome the newcomers to the MTC.
Anyway, Jordan has asked me to update this from time to time and to throw it up on his facebook as well. So, we will.
For now, this is Jordan's dad, signing off...
Anyway, Jordan has asked me to update this from time to time and to throw it up on his facebook as well. So, we will.
For now, this is Jordan's dad, signing off...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
My farewell talk on hope
The topic I was asked to speak on today is hope. At first I was relieved because I thought it’d be an easy topic. But then as I started thinking about what I’d say, I realized I was not even sure exactly what hope is. At first I assumed hope was just the same as a wishful thought, like the equivalent of keeping my fingers crossed. But it is more than a wish. Larry Hiller says the hope we are commanded to have is expectation based on experience.
Romans 5: 3-5 says
“We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
“And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
“And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”
In my own life, I have had many trials and I am sure you all have as well. Sometimes these trials give us no option but to try and endure them patiently. The more trials like this that we have, the more times we are forced to endure and rely on God. Once we are able to overcome our trials, we know we have experienced the saviors awareness and love for us. This gives us more experience and knowledge so that as we endure future trials, our wishing that we are able to make it through the trials turns into hope. Because we have more knowledge to base our expectation that we will make it through .
I am a classic example of someone who ran into a tribulation in life and from it have gained more hope. I have always struggled with anxiety and sometimes the depression that accompanies it. But more recently, it plagued me much more than I ever imagined it could. It started in around December around when I was taking my finals after fall semester with an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach for no reason I could think of. Every day it grew worse as Winter semester started, and I would be scared of everything. I eventually stopped going to my classes, refused to wake up to go to Air Force, and wanted to do nothing but run away from everyone and everything. I forced myself sometimes to go to class where I would randomly have panic attacks for no apparent reason. I would close my eyes and try and focus on anything I could to get my mind off of the anxiety. It was so bad that I would cry in random places because I couldn't control my brain, and that scared me. I thought that there was no way even Hell was this bad. The worst part was I could not tell anybody about it because nobody could possibly understand. "It's all in your head and you just need to get over it" was something I heard a lot. My mind would not stop fueling my anxiety. I woke up multiple times with my heart and arm hurting or numb. The first time I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart would palpitate and skip beats all day long, and I never felt comfortable. I envisioned what would happen if I lost my scholarship because of this. Then as it got worse I realized there was no point in having a scholarship because I could not even function enough to walk five minutes to my class. I could not possibly function in society at all. The only places I could go were work and home because for whatever reason they made me feel safe. I felt lonely. Not because I had nobody to talk to or hang out with, but because my mind was doing things that nobody could understand. I thought differently from other people. I realized that it was getting to the point where I couldn't make friends ever or meet new people, and I could not talk to my old friends because all I wanted to do was get away from life, and nobody understood me. I thought I would probably end up on the streets as a hobo because I could not do anything. Thinking about everyone I knew moving on and me only being a memory of the kid who went crazy to them scared me.Needless to say, at the time, ii felt completely hopeLESS. Then a miracle happened, and after talking to and receiving blessings from bishop miller and president butler, I was able to overcome my problem without the use of medicine, counseling, or anything else contrary to what the psychologist had told me. I was made aware that my anxiety would not permanently go away, but that I would have to work at suppressing it whenever it manifested. One of the happiest moments of my life was when I realized that my biggest roadblock to achieving my dreams had been conquered. Although it was only temporary and I knew that, it gave me hope which, based on my experience, allowed me to have the expectation that when it comes again, I would be able to overcome it just like I did the first time. And this gave me the ability to pull things back together and get back to my classes and all of my other responsibilities.
I have never understood why people are sometimes grateful for their trials, but after I went through that, which was the biggest trial in my life, I recognized the good it did for me and I can say that I am grateful for it. Your tribulations may be associated with depression, anxiety, a disposition to make mistakes often, or just a single sin weighing over your shoulders, but I have learned that if you can focus on the savior and his love for you, you can overcome any trial and have hope for the future.
In an email while my dad was in Afghanistan and aware of my anxiety, he said this:
I want to share this message with you. It is not a message of things you should be doing. It is more a message that may help to strengthen you and provide some insight into what you are going through. I have thought and prayed a lot for and about you. I am convinced that much of what I feel to say to you is from a loving Heavenly Father, who is allowing me, as your loving father, to pass along some information. So, with that, here it goes...
I firmly believe that you are in the middle of a defining moment in your life. I have been pondering on this fact somewhat and realized that most of us have defining moments that we all must pass through. The ultimate example, as in most things, is our Savior. His defining moment, above all others, certainly came in the Garden of Gethsemane. By enduring what he did there, he became the Savior of the world.
You are definitely in the middle of a big one in your life.
There is no doubt that where you are at this moment in your life is a result of two things: 1) Effort and achievement on your part, and 2)Indisputable divine intervention from your Heavenly Father. You know of much of what occurred to allow you to get to the point where you are today. Just pondering on the direct, miraculous blessings which allowed your AFROTC scholarship and your job could fill pages of a book. When you imagine all the events that went into all of those around you who were placed in the positions they were in to make decisions or affect in some way those events, it is mind-blowing (e.g. school teachers and administrators, doctors, Air Force Board people, Dennis, etc.). What I am getting at is that it is not a mistake or simple happenstance that you are where you are. Heavenly Father wanted you to be where you are.
Here's the important part about that--He did not intervene on your behalf to set you up for catastrophy or failure. Now, did he know that you might face some challenges? I am sure of it! I have taken solace many times in my own life in this simple scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:13 "...God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." I imagine you don't view this as a temptation. I would counter that and say that it definitely is because Satan is rooting for your misery and wants you to make choices to make you ever more miserable! Thus, any time we are up against him, we are being tempted to go against the light of the Savior.
So, what can you do about it?
I remember a story in one of President Hinkley's conference talk some years ago about when he worked for the railroad. He rode with an engine one night and was a little troubled that the light on the front of the train didn't shine farther along the track. As I remember, he asked the conductor, "How do you know what's ahead on the track?" The conductor replied to him that the light shines just enough to show him only as far as he needs to see at any point along the way.
I am thinking of you snowboarding. When you get off the lift, you never let what you can't see at the bottom of the hill ruin the ride at the top. I know it's a simple, silly example, but I think it's true.
I don't know if you've heard me talk about this before or not. Bear with me if you have. It is very applicable. When Jesus went into the garden to atone for us, he took Peter James and John--probably his 3 best friends at the time, at least his three closest and most trusted Apostles. Do you remember what he said when he left them at the gate? He said, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death."
The soul is the combination of spirit and body--so I imagine Jesus standing and looking at his most trusted friends and clutching his hands to his chest when he said that. If it were in today's language, he would say something like, "This hurts right here. It hurts so bad I feel like I'm going to die from it!"
Jordan, it sounds to me like a college kid who starts feeling like his heart is stopping and has pain in his chest, and is worried if he can make it through.
So, then Jesus left and went into the garden. He first said, in so many words, "Do I really have to do this to be who I'm supposed to be?" Knowing that it was going to be very hard, I don't know that I could go so far as to say "afraid" of how hard it was going to be, nonetheless, he headed back out to see his friends. Lame friends, they were asleep. He left, asked the same question in prayer again, and then headed out a second time to gather a little support from his friends.
I believe if anyone had ever felt anxiety, he HAD to be feeling it when he turned and walked into the garden again that third time. And, thanks be to God forever, he did it! Because, in that garden on that third trip in, he faced and conquered not only every sin we would all commit, but rose above every pain that we would ever feel. What makes it so remarkable, and such a singular event, is that he did it completely alone. The beauty is that we will never, ever have to endure anything painful alone if we choose to seek him out. That is all part of the weekly sacrament prayer promise--"that they may always have his spirit to be with them." They and them are us.
A very short word on your mission call, and your mission. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM! You've done what you need to do to be worthy and willing. Get in to your Stk President to finish the process, then let Heavenly Father tell you where he wants you to go, and have faith that you will have a wonderful mission--one day at a time!
And finally, one more favorite scripture. You can write it on your forearm like a tattoo... 1 Peter 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
This has not been easy, and it will require more work than you have probably ever put into anything in your life. That's OK. It's a defining moment. It's all part of learning who you really are and just how great you really are.
I love you and can't wait to keep watching you become you. Dad”
This message from my dad went hand in hand with a scripture that President Butler helped me to find. Moroni 9:22
My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long suffering and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.
Looking back on what happened, I was able to learn that the savior really loves me and that it is through enduring my trials in life that I acquire and recognize my strength.
Before I end, I’d like to read a poem about hope by Larry Hiller:
Faith walks before me,
Holding up her lamp
As I try not to stumble in the ink-dark hours before the dawn.
Her light illuminates
One step and then another.
Beside me, Hope, arm linked with mine, encourages and steadies.
Sometimes in the tedium,
Distracted by the pain,
My mind begins to wander, then my feet. I hesitate.
Unsure, I look to Hope.
Her hand takes mine.
The touch reminds me of another hand held out to me,
One pierced and scarred
Yet oh so tender
Lifting me and blessing me when I had fallen and despaired.
Remembering,
I move ahead
Buoyed up by Hope, who sees the end with perfect clarity.
You will all go through trials in your lives, and it is by using the hope you have gained from your previous trials and looking to the savior that you will be able to make it, once again increasing your knowledge and hope for the next trial. Because that is what life is really about.
Testimony
الأَمَلُ فُسـحةُ لَولا العَيشَ أَضيَقَ ما
“How tightly constricting life would be, if it were not for the broad horizons of hope!”
منه انحس يجيك تسيبه لانحس معك كان اذا
if the moon is with thee, you don’t need to worry about the stars.
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